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Becoming a mom can be a great challenge. Now you'll experience that deep tiredness that comes from picking up clutter, constantly looking for something to feed your child, and then - one of you great tests of patience - managing to get your child to eat his or her food. Through all of this you will be surrounded by crying, whining, and all the petty squabbling that comes at that age.

The sheer effort required of you may make you feel inadequate, and you might begin to doubt yourself. Why is this so hard? You may ask. Why does it seem to take so much work, when other women make it look so easy? What am I doing wrong? These questions may plague you, and then you wish you had some way to step back, take a breath, and change something. And there is something you can change so that you can make life easier for yourself. It will take a little more time and even more effort, but in the long run it will be worth it.

You can begin by believing in yourself, that you have what it takes to become a good parent. This belief springs not from the development of your intellect or your "book smarts," but from a deeper, more emotional level. Every woman sarts out with qualities that make good mothers, it's just that some women may have developed some qualities more than others.

We are all capable of gentleness, patience, compassion, empathy, confidence, responsibility, joy, enthusiasm, peace, assertion, self-discipline. These just have to be tapped to rise from under the surface. Take note of your strengths and capacities. Do not dwell so much on your perceived, or even actual failures or shortcomings. Credit yourself with whatever talents, giftedness and capabilities you have, regardless of how small or minor it is.

Some may think it's cool to be dissatisfied and negative about mothering. Wanting and working towards having a home of harmony, being the prime caregiver of physical and emotional needs of your family may be looked upon as lack of ambition. Some may even raise brows if you consider mothering and motherhood the best part of your life, your major achievement. Be that as it may, mothering is a lifetime experience that has no equal, can push you beyond limits you didn't know, can bring out the best in you.

This is the time for you to bring out and nurture those qualities you weren't aware you have. Connecting with your child, even just the attempts to connect with your child, awakens so many levels to your being. You will find yourself closer to your spouse as you see him from perspectives previously absent. You will see and feel a relation to other women, biological mothers and mothers-in-fact.

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